A journey through Evolution
This is an archival of my liveblogging through Fallen London's "Evolution" storyline, originally posted on Cohost, now here as to preserve it.
Table of Contents
- PART 1: THE PART BEFORE I TURNED THIS INTO ACTUAL WRITING
- PART 2: THE ONE THAT NEEDS AN INGAME DISCLAIMER ABOUT BODY HORROR AND A TOGGLE TO TONE IT DOWN
- PART 3: THE ONE THAT STARTS WITH A DEAD BODY
- PART 4: THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT HUBRIS EDITION
- PART 5: ONCE MORE, WITH FEELING
- PART 6: (HOPEFULLY DON'T) LOSE YOUR MIND. (PLEASE DON'T) EAT YOUR CREW. (DEFINITELY DO) DIVE.
- PART 6.5: THAT WAS THE PROMISE
- PART 7: MEET YOUR END
PART 1: THE PART BEFORE I TURNED THIS INTO ACTUAL WRITING
So I'm finally getting around to doing Evolution and the plot so far, as I remember, starting from the start of the Dilmun Club:
- You find a group of Weirdo Academics.
- You get invited by a patron of your choice.
- You learn that these Weirdo Academics include people like The Best Private Detective In London, the Worst Man In London, The Most Religious Snuffer In London, and Brian Blessed.
- You learn that these Weirdo Academics are trying to research Immortality.
- Through Great Effort and Greater Bribery you make a deal with the Court of the Wakeful Eye and become friends with them (because they're in the Elder Continent so they're good for getting us close to the Mountain of Light which is good because it's the source of Immortality).
- After a while you find a Turbo Weirdo whose research into Immortality is a little too spicy for the Weirdo Academics.
- You grab a Shell made of people's regrets so he can study biological growth (these shells grow on people's spines from their regrets)
- You have a drink and find a couple of People being approached by Elder Continent Folks
- You go to the Tomb Colonies to do some research on how Tomb-Colonists turn into Frost Moths
- On the way back you get attacked by a pirate fleet where the people you found being approached by Elder Continent Folks have turned into Brainwashed Cultists and they're trying to kill your Turbo Weirdo friend.
- The reason for this is that your Turbo Weirdo friend is trying to find a definitive solution to the problem of Death and the Prester - the leader of the Elder Continent - dislikes it when people live for over 1000 years.
- I am here.
- ???
- Somehow We Will Have Been Have Gone Being To Arriving At Irem.
Fallen London delivers in the weirdness, at least. Lmao.
PART 2: THE ONE THAT NEEDS AN INGAME DISCLAIMER ABOUT BODY HORROR AND A TOGGLE TO TONE IT DOWN
Update!
- We go to a place where the workers are exploited by the Masters1 and find the place crumbling2. The place also has weird cat/fish hybrids.3
- We buy a broken tavern and get really good at playing chess inside.
- Apparently chess here is a form of contract, argument, counter argument, counter offer, negotiation, and so on.
- Also apparently the island is (metaphorically(?)) alive and playing chess is like its heartbeat.
- Through the power of Great Bribery we do some scavenging and the Turbo Weirdo™ manages to map out the living veins/heartbeats/nerves/whatever of the island
- We then use said map to literally fuse a wriggling key with tentacles into his spine
- As a result, he is violently sick.
- We return to London and talk to The Most Religious Snuffer In London after discovering that a woman who cut off her own tongue simply grew one back with seeds.
- On the way we get attacked by the same pirate fleet with the same Brainwashed Cultists.
- The Most Religious Snuffer In London gives us a potion that we bring back to the Turbo Weirdo™ and he drinks it and recovers his whole HP.
- We then go to a place of weirdo Monks who do Shapeling Arts on themselves.
- Unfortunately the Brainwashed Cultists find us and use the power of the Wax-Wind - which is literally wind of boiling wax - to trap us inside.
- Turbo Weirdo™ goes on a pilgrimage to talk to a saint who turned himself into a mountain (???) and discover the secrets of changing yourself.
- He does all the rights while we fight against the Wax-Wind and the Brainwashed Cultists. We eventually knock the mask out of the main cultist, which breaks the Brainwash.
- Unfortunately the Wax-Wind does not forget so to escape it, the Turbo Weirdo, who had done several body horror-esque modifications to himself during the pilgrimage, turns the key that is attached to his spine.
- The Wax-Wind claims his cast off skin and bones and sinew and flesh but he survives because the key separated him from his old shell and the Wax-Wind still claims that old part of him.
- Unfortunately he also says that the Saint made him turn the key the wrong way which means we're basically back to square one.
- He does say that the point of Changing is that you change yourself in Body, Mind, Thought, Present, Past and Future. He does not seem to understand that this is basically evoking full blown ego death on himself.
- I am here.
- ???
- We Still Will Have Been Having Gone Going Been Do Much More Like Arrive Irem.
This does not narrow it down at all.
This narrows it down even less.
This, however, helps.
PART 3: THE ONE THAT STARTS WITH A DEAD BODY
- I arrive back at London and try to track down a woman that refused to be tracked down.
- On the way, I receive a package containing the bodily remains of someone I talked to on the Chess place, they are tied neatly with a bow and a card that reads "CEASE AND DESIST". The Masters are getting upset.
- This spooks the Weirdo Academics so much that they get furious at me. The Most Religious Snuffer In London has the audacity to use scripture to say "I told you so."
- Turns out the Weirdo Academics has been working with the Bazaar all this time.
- The game then reminds me of the fact we have no less than three players of the Marvelous in the Weirdo Academics (Myself, The Most Religious Snuffer In London, and Brian Blessed) which gives me [neuron activation]
- Anyway the Masters still have to pay one of the previous winners (the Bone Man) and the Weirdo Academics goals are aligned with that but we're fucking it up.
- Unfortunately we took funding from them which means we've made them complicit so now there's a mess for them to clean up.
- However, as the game so helpfully informs us: The Dilmun Club is not enthusiastic about your latest report. Luckily, you don't need their approval to proceed with the Youthful Naturalist's research.
- Since this is both Bolded and in Italics this means that it's a Proclamation From God (AKA FBG) which means it's officially Not Our Problem™
- Also we track down a thief who gives us some info to give to the Turbo Weirdo™. I'm sure she won't appear in the mail anytime soon.
- We go back to the island of Weirdo Monks but unfortunately the rest of the Brainwashed Cultists got there first and they kidnapped the Turbo Weirdo™
- So we find the woman whose mask we broke, who is currently in a rather precarious (but cozy) position inside the mountain, and ask her how to find the ship that caught him. She tells us to go to The Pirate Place.
- We go to The Pirate Place and after precisely applying the power of Great Bribery, Great Booze, and Greater Bribery, they tell us where the ship is and how to get inside - we need a bird as sacrifice.
- So we have to spend some time convincing our Blue Bird to be the bait. I would like to remind everyone that these Blue Birds are prophets that call out the name of the people that must me Murdered At Thee and the game makes it clear that if this job goes wrong we are absolutely, positively, incredibly and royally FUCKED
- So we go chase a ship across the Thee. I'd like to think while playing SerialSymphony's Zee-Hunters.
- When we find it, we sneak on the ship with the Mask and the caged bird. The game then tells us that it's probably a good idea to keep the mask on and taking it off gives us some more Content Warnings.
- I immediately take the mask off.
- I then proceed to swap between mask on and mask off so I can see all the text.
- The gist of it is that while the mask is on the ship looks like the stuff of gods and angels and everyone is friendly with each other and everything is perfect, and the birds kept in the hold are all pets who sing friendly songs to each other and to the crew and everything is happy and sunshine and rainbows.
- Taking the mask off reveals that there's been so much murder and carnage on the ship and no one bothers to clean it that you literally cannot touch anywhere without getting your clothes stained in gore, the food here is actively disgusting and full of worms and vermin and the drinks have chunks in them and the birds are actually all stuffed in sacks and thrashing against their restraints because they know they're going to be cooked alive and when you find your Blue Bird it has a sack over its head and when you save it, it immediately screams DEATH TO THE DELIGHT and every single bird in the hold repeats it in unison out of sheer hatred.
- You also find the Turbo Weirdo™'s cast off skin turned inside out and being scraped off its fat into a bucket by one of the shiphands so they can make more candles for the Prester.
- So y'know. Average neathy tuesday really.
- Eventually you find the Turbo Weirdo™ being tortured by the leader of the ship, who feeds him a Traitor's Tongue (which apparently consists of a living tongue that eats your normal tongue, replaces it, and then speaks all of your secrets aloud).
- Hearing his secrets you learn that during the Fruits of the Thee festival he fell into the water and into the banquet that tells you your Destiny.
- The captain of the ship then finds you, unmasks you, and you have to fight your way out as he grows so many arms to try to kill you that they become snakes and sink the ship themselves.
- You rescue the Turbo Weirdo™ and discover that he has literally eaten his own tongue (the Traitor's Tongue) in order to silence it, and can now only speak because of the Saint's meddling in his flesh.
- You discover what his Destiny was: despite the fact he has never died (a rarity in the Neath, really), he is destined to be the Boatman's replacement.
- And he's doing LITERALLY EVERYTHING POSSIBLE so that he doesn't fucking do that.
- THAT'S RIGHT BITCHES THE GOAL OF EVOLUTION IS METEMPSYCHOSIS
- Anyway the Formerly Masked Cultist then arrives with a stolen ship to help us and we get out of there safe and sound (literally! you get a troubled waters, wounds and nightmares wipe!)
- We then give the plans the thief gave us to the Turbo Weirdo™, which is a set of blueprints. He then tells us we need to grab back the shell of regrets we extracted.
- We left the shell with the Weirdo Academics so we go back to London but they're all busy dealing with the bullshit you're pulling so nobody's around.
- We do find a Weird Flower Lady willing to help us though.
- I am here
- ???
- WILLHAVEBEENHAVEWILLHAVEBEENHAVEWILLHAVEBEENHAVEWILLHAVEBEENHAVEWILLHAVEBEENHAVEWILLHAVEBEENHAVEWILLHAVEBEENHAVEWILLHAVEBEENHAVEWILLHAVEBEENHAVEWILLIREM
PART 4: THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT HUBRIS EDITION
- We go to the gathering place with the Weird Flower Lady and she tells us that the Weirdo Academics tried to revive the shell so they could find out which regrets survive.
- Instead the shell gained sentience and has been causing havoc on their headquarters. She locks us inside.
- We proceed to spend a very long time chasing it around and spraying it with a bottle as if it was a cat.
- We grab it, but it got changed somehow. The Weird Flower Lady doesn't bother stopping us and instead grabs heavy-duty gardening tools to prune the Orchard House.
- We bring it to the Turbo Weirdo™ and he tells us that now we need to make a Diving Bell, time to do a major shopping trip across the whole Thee.
- Stop 1: the Fleet of Truth. We find a married couple of scientists who tell us "come back later and we got something for you"
- We draw the Fleet of Truth card immediately because bad luck is apparently just a Skill Issue™ and immediately get to continue the story where they give us a sack full of wriggling things and then whack it with a stick until it stops wriggling
- Then the two of them sit down with the Turbo Weirdo™ and reminisce about the time they were students, before they leave.
- Then we go back to The Place With The Cat/Fish Hybrids and we find a Daddy who was absolutely in Gay with the Turbo Weirdo™ while he was sick.
- Daddy is also a genius engineer because he creates for us a miraculous diving compass before telling the Turbo Weirdo™ to NOT FUCKING DIE (oh my god they were roommates)
- I then go to the next part of the story but miscalculate my Troubled Waters by exactly 1CP and die on the same action I would have arrived at port
- This is not actually part of the story I just fucked up so I have to spend the next 20 actions leaving the boat.
- I am here
- ???
- IREM IREM IREM IREM IREM IREM IREM IREM IREM
PART 5: ONCE MORE, WITH FEELING
- We interrupt this Epic Storyline to bring you: my tth just popped which means it's time to do Weeklies.
Weeklies include:
- Go to The Hill Where Watches Ostensibly Get Made and get some People Who Really Want To Stretch The Definition of Human extremely drunk.
- Go to The Really Bad Rave Cave to remove a hole in my head (this somehow nets me a soul so cold it freezes the glass)
- Briefly visit Mask of the Rose to have some Soup™ and snoop around the house.
- Hop on my Railway and speed to The Empress's Summer Home(?) so I can talk to a revolutionary and he pays me in scrips for the privilege.
- Hop on my Railway so I can go to The Place Where People Did Forbidden Knowledge So Hard It Froze Everything In A 7 Mile Radius, so I can Read Some Stones and drill a fresh hole in my head.
- Go back to London so I can put The Most Capitalist Rubbery Man back on my Board of Directions
- Immediately kick him out again (I'm not being mean this is just money laundering it's fine)
- Tell my Railway to use the train as an instrument of War so I can immediately win a battle in Parabola despite never actually participating in it.
- Vote on whether the Board of Directors should get paid (we should) (twice, even).
- Go to my home so I can jump into a mirror so I can tell my troops in the world of dreams what a wonderful job they're doing sitting around waiting for the next war train to come.
- Zail all the way to The People Who Personally Objected Very Hard To Getting A City Dropped On Their Head (And When They Went To Talk To The Manager The Manager Told Them To Take Their Business Elsewhere So They Did) so I can talk to A Lizard Who Isn't Trying To Be Particularly Sneaky But Absolutely Is
Alright let's get this show on the road.
- Stop 3: The Court of the Wakeful Eye, also known as The Place People Sold So Many Orphans To They Definitely Started Eating Them At One Point
- We arrive and the Turbo Weirdo™ immediately utilizes the Grovel Technique on the Prince, which works, because he's a Cat.
- He then asks me the same question he did long before: What is my view of death? I would love to give you guys a comprehensive answer of the options but unfortunately the wiki exploded a few months back and we're still trying to find the pieces.
- My answer is unchanged: Death is an unknown.
- We get a velvet silk thing for the Turbo Weirdo™, he's surprised that it's changed, the Cats are not.
- We then go to The Place Of The People Who Personally Objected Very Hard To Getting A City Dropped On Their Head to find another one of the Turbo Weirdo™'s roommates and we get some items from her while she leaves us with a mild implicit threat (which she gives while she's gently stroking his head on her lap. roommates.)
- This means we officially have everything so it's time to make a Diving Bell.
- Unfortunately we need a special place to do that so time to go back to the Weirdo Monks.
- On the way I stop to The Pirate Place so I can grab a Relatively Safe Thee Lane (because I'm pretty sure I'm going to need one at some point).
- We go to the Weirdo Monks and immediatley have another "oh my god they were roommates" moment between the Turbo Weirdo™ and the head monk
- After a lot of merrymaking and using the Power of Drunkenness to convince them, we get started on making the Diving-Bell
- And we make the Diving Bell like immediately afterwards. It's apparently half biological in nature. Neat.
- And now it's time to figure out where to dive, which means we need to map out the entirety of the Unterzee. This is a process that is going to take me a couple dozen actions, I find.
- I am here
- ???
- SHE WILL RISE FROM THE ZEE AND THE ICE LIKE DAWN. SHE WILL BE GARLANDED WITH RED AND DECKED WITH GOLD. THE SEVEN-SERPENT WILL WATCH YOU LONGINGLY FROM ITS HIGH PEDESTAL. YOU WILL ALWAYS ARRIVE AS A STRANGER, BUT WHEN YOU LEAVE, SOME PART OF YOU WILL ALWAYS REMAIN.
PART 6: (HOPEFULLY DON'T) LOSE YOUR MIND. (PLEASE DON'T) EAT YOUR CREW. (DEFINITELY DO) DIVE.
Nice.
- We start in the Sheperd's Wash, AKA Right Next To The Place of Weirdo Monks and the Court of Very Pompous Cats. The jellyfish here (apparently they're attracted to regrets?) are modified by the Amber that falls from the Weirdo Monks.
- This means that river pollution through spillage is canon even in Fallen London. Damn.
- We then go to the Sea of Voices AKA The Place Where Everything Is Alive (Even The Air You're Breathing) and then proceed to fail to draw a x5 frequency card for a good while.
- My TW gets too high, so I go to The Place Of The People Who Personally Objected Very Hard To Getting A City Dropped On Their Head (triple and quadruple checking my TW CPs this time) and immediately draw that section's card on the first try.
- Here we map people's yearnings to go to the Uttermost East, which is valid as fuck.
- After a brief stop in the Khanate to reset my TW, I continue North (though not NORTH).
- Arriving at the Pillared Sea, I get the card again in One Draw (what the hell).
- The water here is reflective like glass, but some sort of aurora exists under there. Turbo Weirdo™ takes some notes, but does not share them, and the helpfully informs us that when we read them together, he will weep.
- Then we get to the next section: Stormbones. Which also gets us the card drawn immediately. I get the sense the Sea of Voices just doesn't like me.
- This one talks about how the crests on the waves are tears, running away from the island because the island (which again, is Living, this is the Cat/Fish place) is weeping. Except people can't see it because of industry.
- We then go to London and immediately draw the card again, because of course (this feels like a taunt at this point).
- The regrets being charted here is all the human interaction: pirates who work right next to London, dockers pressed into gangs, shipments sized, debts, farewells and arrests. Also a moth gets into the Turbo Weirdo™'s mouth.
- We take a short stop in London to reset my TW before going straight for the snares.
- Surprisingly, I do not draw the Snares card immediately. I draw it on the 4th go.
- The regrets in the Snares are simple though: this is a dangerous part of the Thee, so a lot of people die here.
- Then to the Sea of Voices, which continues to try to fuck me up by NOT DRAWING THE BLOODY CARD
- Fortunately I do get it after about 10 card draws (THIS CARD IS X5 FREQUENCY BTW)
- This one is, again, rather straightforward - a lot of people die at Thee, leaving regrets behind, and widows back in their home ports. What is interesting here is that the thee speaks if you know how to listen to it. (Granted, this could just be the Sea of Voices.)
- The final result of all of this is a confirmation that the Regrets start in London, and spiral clockwise through the Elder Continent, the Sea of Voices, the Salt Steppes, the Pillared Sea, Stormbones, before finally stopping in the Snares, at the very center. This is where the regrets pool.
- So it's time to Dive.
- FBG interrupts this mistake to remind you that you need to have Wounds at 0 before you can Dive. Please return to London and reduce your Wounds to zero.
- So we dive, together, while Storm seems to be having a Bad Day because the thee is actively trying to murder us (instead of just passively trying to murder us).
- Depth 1: We see some pretty jellyfish! Turbo Weirdo likes jellyfish.
- Depth 2: We find more regrets and sorrows! Also people dying atop the water as sharks murder the few that survive.
- Depth 3: Something bumps against the bell. A drownie sees us, and gets angry that the Turbo Weirdo™ is here.
- Depth 4: Nothing happens, Turbo Weirdo™ starts getting bored. Suddenly, a huge fuck ass whale in the distance, fighting against a monster made up entirely of arms and hands, who is even bigger than it. The whale's death cries can be heard long after she's out of sight.
- Depth 5: We have been diving for over ten hours, there's nothing but darkness outside, out perhaps gant/peligin. We see the blackness before death, but we're not deep enough to see the one that comes after that. Turbo Weirdo™ does not want to look at that.
- Depth 6: It's been several days at this point. Turbo Weirdo™ has been eating plenty of food. He tells us he wanted to put on some weight so he wouldn't be bony like the boatman. Also, we're entering a forest of spines, we are close to the bottom.
- Depth 7: This is the graveyard of spines, where the Flukes dump all of their shames and regret. Of which they have many. We find a zubmarine skewered on the spines. There's so much shame and regret around that auto pilot stopped working. Evasive maneuvers!
- We go around each spine as much as we can, menace checks of Suspicion and Nightmares and Scandal that give us even more of them on failure. Each failure showing us memories that have sunk to the bottom, a mistake made at a ball, lies and duplicity, regret that haunts nightmares, but eventually we make it.
- We make it out of the Forest of Spines, damage to the hull is getting worse, and we are out of food, and into Depth 8: Guided by the drownies into the Fathomking's Court.
- The Fathomking is not happy to see us. We're too important for him to keep permanently, but he wants to keep our Diving-Bell so we won't do this again. He also tells us that if we continue to dive, we might disturb "deep sediments", and asks us what payment could we provide for that?
- We give away the Turbo Weirdo™'s greatest shame. The Fathomking does something to the Turbo Weirdo™, and he tells him to vivisect him to take more notes... but we are sinking again.
- We're In The Endgame Now™
- We have reached Depth 9: Staring from this point, we are below the Fathomking's Court, below where the Lorn-Flukes dare to thread. Below where any thee creature has ever been. Indeed, only the greatest regrets stay here. All the previous ones are joys in comparison.
- We also look at the Turbo Weirdo™, and try to remember things with him. It seems his memory is what the Fathomking took, and he remembers tattered fragments, of people telling him what he should do, who and what he should be. Adults, professors, priests, his parents-- but he can barely remember his parents.
- Depth 10: We are reaching the Diving-Bell's limit for the pressure. One of the gauges explodes, and yet if we make any kind of deviation, we're dead. The Turbo Weirdo™ keeps trying to remember things. His fascination with Jellyfish started when he was stung by one on a beach as a child, and he kept studying them all the time. As a child. As a student. He wanted one as a pet, he was not allowed.
- Depth 11: We are so far down now that the hull can't withstand anything anymore. Time is meaningless - perhaps nonexistent - this far down. He remembers a fond memory, one with a fellow student, where they worked together in a half beach vacation, half scientific voyage, but he remembers the samples they found the most: Mollusks with glossy black ridges, exactly like little spirals.
- Depth 12: Our artifical gills that turn water to oxygen are starting to break, Turbo Weirdo™ reveals that he's been patching things up using a Super Postal Adhesive. In any other setting, I would be worried, but considering this thing seems to invade our mind, I am only slightly. He remembers his time in the Elder Continent, in the presence of Cats, at the dock, a woman with too many suitcases dropping one.
- Depth 13: We have long since lost all your supplies, and yet the compass doesn't seem to indicate that we're any closer. We're both just skin and bones at this point. Turbo Weirdo™ runs out of the Adhesive. Now I'm worried. Turbo Weirdo™ is losing hope, but a memory of The Most Religious Snuffer In London giving him a pep talk brings him back. Unfortunately, the memory makes it clear that a massive distance has grown between the two of them in the intervening years.
- Depth 14: There is no way the Diving-Bell should be holding at this point. Turbo Weirdo™ prays to the gods of the thee: Storm, Salt and Stone. They respond by exploding the last of the gauges. He proceeds to curse them all to Hell.
- Mood tbh
- There is no way the porthole should still be holding. The darkness itself slaps against the glass, "like a tentacle knocking to come inside".
- This far down, we manage to somehow catch the entire thread of consequence that led to this moment. Spiralling decades into the past, through actions that take place from the Surface to the Neath to Parabola and beyond, sits a single Master, calculating the entirety of the future through the Red Science.
- Depth 15: Hull Health has reached zero. Darkness itself is seeping into the Diving-Bell. The Turbo Weirdo™ finally loses all hope, and in the darkness, we can only see him as a skeleton. It seems his goal of avoiding death forever is about to fail.
- Depth 16: The final bolt pops loose, and our vision shifts. The darkness fades, and we see the Boatman rowing us, in a slow boat passing a dark beach, on a silent river. Even without a tongue, the Boatman can still talk.
- She will rise from the depths like darkness. She will be as empty as the emerald-gold of infinity. She will watch you curiously, and whisper only a single truth: All will be well.
PART 6.5: THAT WAS THE PROMISE
- Whatever is happening, we are not dead. Yet. Our wounds have risen to 7, which means we are close. We row against the stream, trying to buy us time.
- We talk to the Boatman, asking whether he is now the Youthful Naturalist. He replies that in oblivion, they are equals, one and the same. This is not oblivion, but oblivion is just downstream. His flesh will die, his identity will die, difference between them will die.
- But for now. He is himself. Who "himself" is, he does not clarify.
- We discuss the Stone Tentacle Key, and discover that they are moulted shells of a massive Fluke called the Regret-Beyond-Death, which the other Flukes abandoned. Below the River, it survives, shedding its old bodies, and they accumulate as the keys.
- We also discover that the Bishop of St. Fiacre's - another player of the Marvelous - intentionally groomed the Youthful Naturalist to have them replace the Boatman. It is, it seems, that the game was rigged from the start.
- We then ask - we can't keep rowing up river forever, right? The Boatman grins, no one can, before plunging the boat into the rapids. We stare into the darkness below, to see a single black tentacle emerging from the water.
- And then we are back, being fished out of the water by the Noble Garter, His Amused Lordship's pleasure yacht. His servants work to keep us alive, and The Implacable Detective and The Bishop of St. Fiacre's are also here.
- We talk to the Youthful Naturalist, he's incredibly annoyed - we survived, but we have nothing to show for it. Despite everything, we still didn't go deep enough to reach the Regret-Beyond-Death. But we did go deep enough to learn.
- The Detective, despite vehemently telling us, over and over again, that this was all a bad idea and we should not do it, is utterly fucking impressed by what we've achieved. The Bishop of St. Fiacre's, on the other hand, feels a little more morose. He admits to what he's done in regards to the Naturalist, but in his own words, if Destiny takes its course, we can find the Garden, the whole point of the Dilmun Club.
- The meeting then convenes properly. The Implacable Detective wants to bring the Naturalist back onto the Dilmun Club, but with reservations. The Bishop wants him to stay away - so that he has the freedom necessary to do whatever he wants, without impacting the Club. His Amused Lordship could not give less of a shit of the Naturalist pisses the Masters off. He's willing to bring him back to the club and sponsor him as needed. They ask for our vote on the matter.
- Naturally, I side with His Amused Lordship. Pissing off the Masters never stopped me.
- Despite all this, the Youthful Naturalist refuses to go back to the club. He needs to move forward, rather than back to the Dilmun Club, especially now that they don't have Stone-Tentacle Keys anymore. The group scatters, and we return to our own ship, but not before The Implacable Detective calls on us.
- She says how despite all her warnings, we did everything she told us not to, and we excelled at it. Now, she's wondering, what else can we discover? She gives us no less than eight Stone Tentacle Keys, and tells us that she has a map for us back in London. The Naturalist grins in giddy excitement.
- You will take the final step, surrounded by the cold embrace of certainty. She will rise to meet your gaze, smiling, knowing what you will have done. And though you will depart, you will do so with one undeniable truth: All manner of things shall be well.
PART 7: MEET YOUR END
- The last section left us moored at Hunter's Keep, so going back to London is a matter of 2 actions.
- Through the power of a x10 Frequency card draw, we immediately get the card that will let us continue the story.
- A calling card calls us to the Orchard House, and we rush there immediately. The place is still fucked, but it's at least presentable now. We go to the Solar, and the first person we see, is, of course, Feducci.
- The meeting starts slow. The Sybarite is in perfect health, and talks about how a messenger bat finally arrived from Vesture. She asks the fortune teller to flip a card, but they only mention that His (un)Amused Lordship should see a doctor. He complains about it. Feducci is a little snarky.
- They continue their conversation, but we leave it behind as we go to the Library to meet The Implacable Detective. She's pouring over an organic map, complaining to us about how the other members are unreliable - Feducci is impatient, His Amused Lordship is distractable - and since Vesture is back in play, that means our research with the Naturalist is no longer a priority.
- She gives us a new map - one very similar to the one we made in Port Cecil - but it's incomplete. She gives us the map for us to finish, but warns us that she does not expect the Naturalist to succeed.
- When we ask her why then she's helping us, she answers that there's a chance she might die before they find the Garden. And if so, she'd like to know the person rowing the boat, and the Naturalist is quite the rule breaker - maybe he'd row the boat upstream instead.
- We show the map to him, and he explains why the Detective buried her research - she's a Constable. She can't ever bring herself to change - to admit that Concord Square is beyond repair. This research would prove that she can change.
- So, using the combination of the map the Detective gave us, and the map we made in Port Cecil, alongside enough Honey to make Mr. Spices jealous, and my Relatively Safe Thee Lane I prepared back in part 5, we manage to solve the puzzle: The threads converge at one place.
- Irem.
- And so, we will make the journey to the city of the future.
- As we approach the Pillared City, we have one last dinner together. He explains that in Port Cecil, we started a ritual using the key, and in Godfall, St Stalactite finished. Crossroads - turn one way, lead one life, turn another, lead another. The patterns are not unchanging, and the crossroads move. By going to Irem, we'll be able to pinpoint the exact place and time.
- We ask him if he remembers the near death experience we had at the bottom of the Thee. he says that he doesn't know - he remembers rowing us, sure, but who was he at that moment? Past, present, future. Perhaps they're also living things, and when they rot, the skeleton they share is all that's left.
- When discussing the Stone Tentacle-Key, he says that you can't change your future without changing your heart. This is how the Regret-Beyond-Death survives: By constantly changing bodies, and changing its Destiny alongside them. With eight keys, we can do something much larger than what we did in Port Cecil.
- Finally, we discuss the beginning of our journey. A meeting in the Medusa's Head, a simple conversation. He apologizes for lying to us at that moment, after all, trust doesn't come easily to him, but he needed access to the Archives and a Ship, and in exchange, he'd give us a way to permanently beat Death. And that's what we're going to do. "Immortality. Ours."
- And so, we finally reach Irem.
- He is confident he knows where to go, and he goes there so quickly we have issues catching up. We will take lodgings in Irem, but the Naturalist will be absent.
- We spend (will spend) several weeks (months? years?) loding in Irem. The Naturalist performs (will perform) several different surgeries on himself. Seventy-seven threads across skin. Dreams of flesh stalks protruding from his back. Blood and Amber that fails with each incision. We will apply every knowledge we have at our disposal: Organic, Monastic, Mechanical, Cartographic, Mnemonic, Temporal.
- And finally, after stitching Seven Stone Tentacle-Keys on his flesh, with Seventy-Seven stitches for each, and Seven Thousand, Seven Hundred and Seventy-Seven more for the sigils, he will kneel before the Seven-Serpant of Irem, and his dreams will leak into the waking world.
- And so, we will follow the thread of fate, into the world of dreams; from the past, to the future, to the present again. He gazes upon us with a sad smile, and walks in three separate directions. The tapestry of the world rips apart.
- We walk a Forking Future, we see its branches - the Discreet Sybarite is the de facto leader of the Dilmun Club, she stymies Feducci, while you do everything in your power to help the Naturalist with his research. We visit the shipyard, and find ourselves elsewhere.
- We walk a Vivisectioned Future, we see its branches - the Naturalist becomes a pet to one of his friends, and she uses him as canvas and experiment for the changes towards immortality. We walk past the sands of the Elder Continent, betrayal and blood in our hands, just for the sake of Immortality. We put a corpse on a table, and stitch seven more stitches onto its body.
- We walk a Manifold Future, London is falling, the Stolen River surges with debris, we try to save who we can, but for each we save, more die. We become prisoners, prisoners of Cline, and take great effort to escape. We submit to a mummification, for there is nothing left without London.
- We walk a Mortal Future. We light candles and read correspondence in Port Carnelian - something encrypted from the Bishop of St. Fiacre's - we help the Burly Surveyor carry his equipment in the prickfinger wastes, trying to find bones of other species. Life goes on, as normal.
- And at the end, when all the cards are laid on the table, there is one more choice to make: Will the Naturalist change himself so thoroughly as to defy his Destiny? Will he accept his Destiny, and become the Boatman? Or do we allow him to die, but tether his spirit so thoroughly that something of his will remain?
- The present is what happens when the future leaves Parabola, though the Youthful Naturalist will take all three paths, and all three futures are true, we can only follow him down one.
- By our hands we decide: Which End will the Youthful Naturalist Meet?
Alright, so, this is obviously the part where we choose the ending to the storyline. Here's my rationale:
Acceptance is out of the question. His Fate was determined before he was born, by Masters who could not give less of a shit about him, because of a skeleton that won a Children's Card Game. Acceptance means giving up entirely. Fuck that.
The opposite, Cunning, is to absolutely refuse him ever becoming the Boatman, and going through every possible way to break that thread of Fate. Unfortunately, as we walk through this future, we also realize that this has catastrophic side effects - he breaks Fate so thoroughly that it starts to affect the real world, with fate itself trying to kill him, so he can fulfill his destiny, and with massive collateral damage on the way. The Presbyterate grows expansionist, and all of London seems to die as a result of this. Though there is a chance these tragedies don't come to pass - the point seems to be that, in breaking destiny, he slips through the cracks of destiny, and changes himself completely - that's not a bet I'm willing to make. I want to save this poor fool, but his life is not worth the lives of the rest of London - and who knows what else, really. (I also have a bit of foreknowledge here that he seems to keep a small aspect of himself even after his transformation, so it's not complete Ego Death, but that's still not worth it for me).
Then, we have the middle ground option, Malleability. He will still become the Boatman, but a part of him will remain, and in that part, he's able to break and bend the rules, and do as he pleases. This does mean he's still bound to the boat for eternity, but he has some power of it, which is, if nothing else, a consolation prize. As mentioned previously, I'm also a player of the Marvellous (Power Ending baby), and in my canon, I gave Beechwood mercy, fulfilled Virginia's, the Topsy King's and the Manager's Hearts' Desire, and intend to eventually fulfill Mr. Pages'. Also, I'm now Mr. Cards, which means the Marvellous is now my responsibility (and so is the payment of the prizes), and not paying the Boatman would be a massive dick move (he deserves a nap. or several.) Finally, keeping the Naturalist's Destiny, as implied by the Bishop of St. Fiacre's, would also mean that we are on the path to fulfilling his Heart's Desire.
So the solution for me, is obvious.
- "He will die, yet his spirit will live. He will row the slow boat, but he will disembowel the laws that would set its course. He will steer Death itself like a ship's wheel at his whim."
- We see a future where we go to the Desert of Delight, and in it, we die scorched. The Naturalist - now the Boatman - wakes us up with a splash of water, and tells us how he was silly for ever fearing this. There are so many places he can go now, so many things he can do. "We have all the time a corpse will ever need."
- And so, we have chosen the path, and we will return to Irem. The Youthful Naturalist's story is done, and so is our part in it.
- But... we are not quite done.
From London to Cline to Venderbight, from Port Cecil to Godfall to Gaider's Mourn, from the Unterzee's spiralling depths, your life's map will always lead you to Irem.